Imposter syndrome: How to tame your inner critic

Do you doubt your ability to do your job, despite glowing feedback from your boss? Do you feel uncomfortable when people praise your work? Do you hold yourself to impossibly high standards?

You could be suffering from imposter syndrome.

What is imposter syndrome?

People with imposter syndrome experience chronic feelings of inadequacy and incompetence, despite evidence to the contrary. Often seen in high-achieving individuals, the phenomenon is thought to be fuelled by perfectionism and a fear of failure.

Although imposter syndrome can come into play in all areas of life, it's especially common in the workplace. In fact, it affects 3 in 5 workers in the UK.

Here are 4 signs you might have it:

1. You perceive yourself as unworthy of your position: You fear being “found out” by your boss or co-workers or have the sense that you’re fooling people by only ‘seeming’ to do a good job.

2. You're unable to accept praise or compliments: You never think your work is good enough, even when everyone else says it’s great. Every time you receive praise, your inner critic is speaking so loudly, that the compliments fail to register.

3. You’re riddled with self-doubt: You turn down opportunities to lead on projects/take on more responsibility as you doubt your capabilities.

4. You hold yourself to impossibly high standards: You find the fear of failure paralysing.

Although imposter syndrome is not a diagnosable mental illness, the negative thoughts and feelings associated with it can fuel a vicious cycle of anxiety, depression, and guilt.

Cognitive Distortion

Imposter feelings are often fuelled by cognitive distortions (exaggerated or irrational thought patterns that cause us to perceive reality inaccurately).

Here are four common cognitive distortions. Do any of them resonate with you?

  • All-or-nothing: Also known as polarised thinking, this distortion occurs when people think in extremes. If a situation falls short of perfect, you see it as a total failure.

If your boss says you didn’t meet expectations in one area of your performance review, you label yourself as a failure at your job. There’s no room for nuance – there can’t be parts of your job you’re great at and areas that need improvement. In your eyes, you’re a failure.

  • Mental filtering: You magnify the negative details of a situation while filtering out the positives.

This bias for dwelling on your shortcomings leads you to focus on the one piece of negative feedback you got on your job interview while disregarding the ten positive comments. 

  • Overgeneralisation: You view one negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat.

You once got nervous and stumbled your way through a speech at a fundraising event. As a result, your belief is "I always screw up speeches. I will never be able to speak publicly without messing up."

  • Discounting the positive: You don’t take credit for things you’ve earned or achieved.

Your boss raves about a grant application you’ve spent ages on. You downplay the praise by telling yourself it was ‘nothing special’, or ‘anyone else could have done it just as well’.

Cognitive Restructuring

The key to overcoming cognitive distortion is learning how to identify, challenge, and reframe your thoughts. You can do this using cognitive restructuring (a series of therapeutic techniques that help people notice and change their negative thinking patterns.)

Step one: Identify your thoughts

The first step toward fixing imposter syndrome is to identify your cognitive distortions.

When a thought pops into your head that’s destructive or irrational, make a note of the situation that led to you having the thought and how it made you feel.

Step two: Question your assumptions

The next step is to challenge the thought and your assumptions about it.

Socratic Questioning can help you do this. The technique involves posing philosophical questions to challenge your beliefs and thoughts. For example, by asking yourself, “What evidence supports my belief?” or “How might another person view this situation differently?” you can analyse your thought patterns and make necessary adjustments.

Tip: This Cognitive Restructuring Worksheet is a handy tool you can use to analyse, evaluate and diffuse your distorted thoughts.

Step 3: Generate alternatives 

Come up with rational and positive alternatives to replace the distorted thought.

For example, if a group of colleagues stop talking when you walk into a room, instead of assuming they were talking about how bad you are at your job, consider other explanations i.e., maybe their conversation came to a natural end as you walked in …

Positive affirmations can also help i.e., remind yourself that you make valuable, positive contributions at work, and your colleagues always include you in what’s going on. 

Final Word

If left unaddressed, imposter syndrome can limit your career potential and damage your mental health and career. Instead of beating yourself up and getting lost in negative thoughts, use these strategies to nip your imposter thoughts in the bud and realise how awesome you are.

Looking for a fundraising role? Give us a call on 020 3750 3111 to chat through options.

 

 

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